Song of the Summer (Year)

Woah, Gang. 

It's 12:07am and a new video just rocked my world.

Meghan Trainor's All About That Bass.

What I'm gonna do now is let you watch it for yourself before you read on.

Enjoy:

Are you kidding me?!
SO GOOD, Right?!?!

In a quintessential move of Feminine Feminism, Trainor dominates the screen in pinks and purples and glitter and sea foam, all while thrusting body-image empowerment into every verse. 
It maintains a candy-coated sense of humor while remaining true to a clear and concise message: Every inch of you is perfect from the bottom to the top.

F**k, yeah, Meghan! 

In the middle of the summer when we women are plagued by bikinis and bare midriffs, sundresses and short-shorts, this is exactly the kind of thing we need to be seeing. 

A reminder to all of us that not only are our bodies acceptable, but exceptional. 

I was in a mall dressing room last week when I overheard what could only be described as a gaggle of 14 year-old girls, all beautiful and well-matabolised, dissecting the variety of things that were "wrong" with their bodies.
It was like that scene in Mean Girls - except not funny. 

This song and video are exactly what need to be seeping into the common consciousness of young women in this country. 
Real-sized women with real-sized confidence dressing up, strutting their stuff and having a ball. 

Let's replace the doubts with dance parties, barfing with bows, swimsuit fasts with self-reliance. 

“I see the magazines working that Photoshop, we know that shit ain’t real, come on now, make it stop."

It's the perfect antithesis to the Blurred Lines mentality, (even though I love me some Robin Thicke, I can admit the douchiness), and exactly what women of all ages, shapes and sizes need to be absorbing. 

She's all about that bass. 

I'm all about that song. 

YGG, Meghan. You fucking Go Girl. 

The Worst Oscar Fashion Decisions Ever

The Oscars are Tomorrow! 
Eeeeeeeeeee!

I'm particularly amped for this year because I've seen almost every movie that's nominated. 

I get especially excited for the Academy Awards every year for three reasons:
The Comedy Bits (SO stoked for Ellen!), the Acceptance Speeches, and the FASHION! 

Throughout the last 86 years, there have been a LOT of interesting fashion choices. 
Some amazing (Penelope Cruz), some debatable (I happened to think Bjork's swan dress was refreshing), and some just awful (Sharon Stone.) 
While I could go on for days about some of the most beautiful couture to walk the red carpet, I thought I'd take a different route and focus on some of the mishaps that have occurred over the last decade.

Here are the worst oscar dresses and the only possible explanations for why they happened: 

The reason Demi looks so happy is because she's flooded with endorphins from her bike ride over.

There are 3 important things to know about this photo - 

#1: The woman to Gwyneth's far right is clearly thinking the same thing we all are.

#2: NOTHING about this outfit would be on GOOP.

#3: If the person to her immediate left was allowed on the red carpet, we could ALL make it to the Oscars some day. 

Lizzy Gardiner clearly owed the Mafia a large sum of money and the only way she could get the cash soon enough was by wearing this endorsement from American Express.

Tyra stole this dress from the set of the Made for TV classic, Life Size. 

Oh dear, Celine. 

Obviously other than the Canadian tuxedo, they don't have suits in Canada, because she clearly didn't realize she had it on backwards. 

And the hat? Who does she think she is, Olivia Pope?

You Guys. 

Pamela Anderson not only wore this in public, but TO THE OSCARS!

CLEARLY she had just come from filming a scene at Ron Jeremy's house and didn't have enough time to stop at home and change. 

Poor Anna Nicole Smith was obviously too drunk to realize that she accidentally dressed for her Slimer audition instead of the Oscars.

While most people think Cher's 1986 feather debacle is her worst, I feel that at least that one was dressy and showed off her abs of a goddess. 

This outfit just proves that the 90's made denim think it was INVINCIBLE. 

As the international ambassador for the toreadors union, Lauren Hutton donned their traditional garb and crotch purse. 

At least it's nice to know that the permanent bracelet tattoo she has isn't THE biggest mistake Scar Jo has ever made. 

Geena Davis obviously realized she was so beautiful that her dress didn't need to be. 

This outfit is actually the reason Whoopie went into hiding in Sister Act

What have been some of your favorite fashion flubs? 

Bold like an Olivia Pope Wine

You Guys!
Scandal is back on TONIGHT!!!!
(I'll give you a moment to dance for joy.)

The gladiators in suits are about to ride on their chariots back in to our lives!
GAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
After an absence that has moved at a glacial pace, Olivia and Fitzie and Scott Foley are BACK!
It's difficult to fully express how excited I am. 

And, not to spoil anything, BUT  DO NOT read this next paragraph if you're not totally caught up - 

Ok Go:

WHAT THE FRACK, RIGHT?!

With Fitz and the House?! And the Mom and the Flight? And The Dad and the Thing?! And Jake Ballard (SWOON) at the desk in the place?! And Huck and Quinn and the Tooth?! And Harrison and the Guy?! And Cyrus and James?! And the fucking Vice President?!

OK - ANYONE NOT WANTING SPOILERS CAN START READING AGAIN NOW! 

Tonight, totally unintentionally, I did something that only Olivia Pope can manage properly: 

I drank red wine while wearing white.

AND:

I DIDN'T SPILL IT!

I KNOW, RIGHT?!?!

 

IT'S BEEN HANDLED.

This is a feat I truly never thought would happen.

I feel so powerful! Like I can conquer the world! 

I can do ANYTHING! 

OHMYGOD,YOUGUYS,ICANSOLVEALLTHEPROBLEMS!!!!!

I AM Olivia Pope. 

I feel bolder than this Pinot Noir!!! 

I want to remember this feeling every day. 

This sturdy but effusive confidence. 

Like I can save my team or my client, or save lives, or save the fate of the nation, or look amazing in a white pantsuit and matching hat.

I feel the non-wine-spilling poise that illicits multiple gentlemen vying for my attention, and the sharpness to solve crime and like I could walk with confidence in heels. 

Thank you, Olivia Pope. (And Shondra Rhimes. And Kerry Washington.)

Thank you for, despite your emotional baggage, being the type of role model who incites this amount of courage in women. 

HAPPY SCANDALING!

POST SCRIPT:

30 Minutes after initially publishing this post, I spilled red wine down my right sleeve.

I feel shaken but not deterred.

I handed it. 

It's handled. 

Hannah Horvath and I Wouldn't Be Friends

(*note: Non GIRLS viewers may not get/appreciate this article. Just heads-up.)

On HBO's Girls, Lena Dunham has created the character of Hannah Horvath with conviction, humor and aplomb. 
I love Lena, I love the show, I love it all.
HOWEVER - 
I have some issues with Hannah that I need to address. 
Sure she's relatable. She says the things we're all thinking, she does a bedroom/living room dance party like no other, and her neuroses make mine feel better about themselves. 
She's vulnerable, loves cake, and talks to herself in the mirror.
But - she is also selfish, self-absorbed, and totally unaware. 

Hannah Horvath and I would not be friends. 

In this, I examine the hypothetical situation in which Hannah and I are friends in real life:

Brooklyn, Wednesday, 2:49pm:

I'm meeting Hannah for lunch. 
We haven't seen each other in weeks because she's been holed up with Adam and his weird sister and not returning my calls and texts. 
(I don't take it too personally though, because I know she hasn't called Marnie back in weeks either, even though she threw her that nice birthday party and tried to sing karaoke with her. Which, by the by, is the only time I've even seen Soshana this season month.) 
But, she's going through a creative crisis and has called me to discuss her E-Book. 
I've read a couple of the essays (I particularly like the one about the incident with Glitter Pens), and am happy to talk to her about it.
Although, I know that if I give her any remotely negative feedback that she will probably spiral into a 10 minute tirade about my lack of support for her and her creative ambitions and voice... So I need to choose my words carefully. 

If I was late to meet her, she would undoubtedly be upset (unless I was Jessa - which I'm not), so I arrive on time. 
But of course, she comes in 20 minutes late dropping all of her things and apologizing profusely, barely even greeting me, then launches immediately into what is going wrong on in her life.

And I just snap.  

I start to bring up all of the issues I'm having with our (one-way) friendship, and she just stares at me agog. 
Then she begins to tell me how lucky I am to have her in my life. 
I start to get mad, but she refuses to let me feel the way I'm feeling, because her emotions are so much more important and intense than mine. 
And she's "having so many feelings she can barely think straight and it's all she can do to keep her calm right now". 

To which I respond that she's always feeling feelings, but mostly feeling sorry for herself. And how nice it would be if she had some MODICUM of awareness of the rest of the world, because if she did, then she might feel a lot better about her own life. 

And then she stares at me with her jaw dropped and says "I don't even know how you could say this to me right now." and am I "seriously doing this?" 

When I get even angrier, and that I'm going to leave, she tells me how her life is so much harder than anyone else's because of all the pressure she feels all the time. 

(Yeah - it must have been TORTURE growing up in a well-educated, upper middle class household, that paid for four years of Oberlin's $59,474 per YEAR tuition, where she got to find herself and write for every literary outlet on campus And meet fucking Jessa. Then have that followed by 2 years of a completely funded a life in Manhattan. Cue the violins.)

Back to Hannah because she's still whining talking. 

She's saying how I should be more sympathetic because of how hard it's been since she was cut off financially and brutally rebuffed by her very own parents, and how she's going through so much. 

And shouldn't I be more understanding of the difficulties of her life?! 
And that's not even mentioning the issues she deals with being 13 pounds overweight that's been really hard for her her whole life?!

After this outbreak, I take a deep breath and sit back down. 

I will try to be more understanding, I think. 

After all, she does have some hard stuff going on with the OCD and all.

Then she apologizes and asks me what was going on in my life.

I start to tell her, and I see her start frantically nodding, even though I can tell she's not absorbing anything I'm saying, and she gets that glossy look in her eyes that I am all-too familiar with, and I know she's really just waiting for me to finish so she can talk again.

So I take another deep breath and reach for my muffin. 
But then I see that it's gone, and look up to find her putting the last bite in her mouth.

I look at her in surprise, to which she responds out of the side of her full mouth "What? You said you were leaving and if I don't eat now, my blood sugar will drop and that's something you should actually be really proud of me for dealing with in a timely and appropriate manner!"

I start to pack up my things and she looks at me shocked, then asks if I'm really leaving and can she first show me the tooth necklace Adam gave her?

And then I get really mad because - what did she even get Adam for his birthday? 
And stop acting like he's so lucky to be with her because despite his weirdness, he's the most interesting and profound person in the show Brooklyn, and he forgave her even after her constant antics and he took care of her with all her OCD bullshit and even carried her like fucking Kevin Costner in The Bodyguard, and maybe she should be a little more giving in that relationship!

And then she indignantly tells me she is giving in all of her relationships but nobody notices because they're all so self involved (which isn't totally wrong. Especially Jessa.) and that she's just exhausted and can't we just talk because she was really counting on me and really needs to talk to me about all the shit that's going on with her E-book deal. 

So. 
I tell her that the only person she actually gives a shit about OTHER THAN HERSELF is Jessa because she can do whatever she wants (which is reckless most of the time), and yet she's the only fucking person who Hannah ever goes out on a limb for, she doesn't even show interest in or help her own parents. 

To which she gasps and says in that familiar horrified, determined tone "That is NOT true!"

And with that, I'm done.
I leave Grumpy's coffee shop and continue on to whatever Brooklynite job I landed two weeks earlier and am now running late to.

And she goes home and eats cake naked in her kitchen with her hair clipped back and tells Adam what a judgmental bitch I've been at our coffee date. 
And now who's she going to get to proof her essays?

And that's why we wouldn't be friends. 

Hannah Horvath is all of us.

We are all individuals who feel what we feel when we feel it.
We are all worried about our futures and we're all self-conscious, and we ALL think mean things about ourselves. 

We all want to experience things for the story and we all get scared and we all want to have all the things and to be happy. 
We all want to dress funky but look smart and be able to cut loose with our gay-ex-boyfriends and cook meals like adults. 

And we all want a boy who wants to hang out with us all the time and thinks we're the best person in the world and wants to have sex with only us. 

But we all also need to suck it the fuck up sometimes.
And we all need to be conscious and considerate of the needs, worries and feelings of our friends and loved ones (even if they're Jessa).

Girls is an accurate misrepresentation of millennials' narcissism. 

We need to start being a little more aware of the bigger picture.

All adventurous women do. 

Book Lust

I have always been an avid reader. 
Growing up, reading was one of my absolute favorite pastimes (Which perhaps helps explain why I am so un-athletic...), and as an adult I love it just as much. 
Last week I got a lovely comment from a reader wondering about my taste in books. 
Reading it, I realized that while I mention books I'm enjoying from time to time on my heart lists and such, I've never really gone into detail about my favorites.
So, in one over-ambitious, giant fell swoop, here for you is a giant list condensing my taste in books. 

 Classics:
- Gone With The Wind by Margaret Mitchell (Like the movie but with more details, they're both perfect)
- The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald (One of the best stories and most lyrical narratives ever. Potentially THE great American novel to me.)
- Pride and Prejudice, Emma, & Sense & Sensibility by Jane Austen (I love me some Jane)
- The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath (Horribly depressing but beautifully written)
- Walden by Henry David Thoreau (Some of the nature stuff gets pretty boring, but his insights on life and art are truly words to live by.)
- Catcher in the Rye & Franny and Zooey by J.D. Sallinger 

Non-Fiction & Memoirs:
- The Happiness Project & Happier At Home by Gretchen Rubin (Not as big a fan of the second, but I read THP once a year)
- Many Lives, Many Masters by Brian L. Weiss M.D. (Gave me a complete and total different outlook on life, death and the afterlife) 
- Let's Pretend This Never Happened by Jenny Lawson (This can be a little hit and miss but overall enjoyable)
- Running With Scissors by Augusten Burroughs (Wonderful)
- The Lives and Loves of Daisy and Violet Hilton by Dean Jensen (I happen to have a personal obsession with their story)

Recently Read & Enjoyed:
- 11/22/63 by Stephen King (Really long but worth it. I am NOT a Stephen King kind of reader, but this is fascinating and compelling.)
- Silver Linings Playbook by Matthew Quick (Book & Movie both excellent, super different)
- Rules of Civility by Amor Rowles
- The Fault in our Stars by John Green (So good. Have some kleenex handy)
- Tell The Wolves I'm Home by Carol Rifka

Humor:
- Bossypants by Tina Fey (one of my all time favs)
- Seriously... I'm Kidding by Ellen DeGenerous
- Is Everyone Hanging out Without Me? by Mindy Kaling
- Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris (Was lucky enough to see him read excerpts of this live and it was wonderful. Most of his stuff is.)

Good Beach Reads:
- One Day by David Nicholls 
- The Family Fang by Kevin Wilson
- Beautiful Ruins by Jess Walter
- An American Heiress by Daisy Goodwin (I love historical fiction and stuff about the 19th century)
- The Help by Kathryn Stockett
- The Hunger Games series by Suzanne Collins (So fun. I love Katniss)

Books I've Hated:
- The Old Man and the Sea by Earnest Hemingway (I want that day of my life back)
- The Scarlett Letter by Nathanial Hawthorne (It is criminal that this is assigned in schools it's so boring)
- 50 Shades of Grey by E. L. James (Come on, it started out as Twilight fan-fiction. Seriously)
- Moby Dick by Herman Melville (The longest and most boring book ever written)
- The DaVinci Code by Dan Brown (Too manipulative to be enjoyed)

What I'm Reading Right Now:
- Sisterland by Curtis Sittenfeld (My summer Pool book)
- 5 A.M. Fifth Avenue by Sam Wasson (Very interesting for Breakfast at Tiffany's fans) 
- Your Hidden Symmetry by Jean Haner (Jake and I are fascinated)
- Orange Is The New Black: My Year in a Women's Prison by Piper Kerman (Only just started, I'm so obsessed with the show I had to learn more)

On my Current Book Queue:
- A Visit From The Goon Squad by Jennifer Egan (been meaning to read this for YEARS)
- Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy (This one too - I'm 300 pages in, 700 to go...)
- The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls (My Next Pool book)
- The Sun Also Rises by Earnest Hemingway
- Just Kids by Patti Smith (Supposed to be fantastic)
- Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte
- Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte


I'm sure there's a ton that I'm forgetting, but I suppose that leaves room for a volume two somewhere down the line!

What are you guys reading/loving?? I'm ALWAYS looking for new books and recommendations! If you guys read and enjoy any of these, let me know!!

Daisy Buchanan is Crazy & Leo is a Dreamboat - In defense of Luhrmann's Gatsby

I just got home from seeing The Great Gatsby for the second time.
And I'm here to tell you - I loved it.

Maybe it was my mood, or my unflinching loyalty to the novel (Which I've read 4 times) or to Baz Luhrmann (Genius), or the fact that the tickets only cost $3, but I thought it was grand.

It's unquestionably flawed, for sure, but I think many of it's problems are born through earnest attempts at staying true to the depth and lyricism of the novel. 
For example, Toby McGuire's overly earnest narration from the sanitarium, albeit a somewhat bizarre choice, is used as a vehicle for the audience to hear Carraway's character descriptions and vivid recounting. The even less successful decision to have the words typed across the scene was made to ensure the audience feels the full impact of the perfect closing paragraph. 
I can't fault Bazzy for that too much. 

The party scenes are incredible, as per usual Catherine Martin's art direction is flawless, and the music! Jay-Z, you industrious genius. Scoring the film with modern jams created a feel of modernism which is what the story is inherently about.

While the first 20-30 minutes are a little rushed and disjointed (a problem i have with most Luhrmann projects), it accurately gives you the feel of the mania of the times. 
But all that changes when Gatsby arrives. 

Leonardo. Fucking. DiCaprio.
OMG. 

When I was 10 years old and Titanic was released on video, I was obsessed. 
I would set up the two VHS set and stare up at the screen in wonderment.
It was more than obsession - it was love.
One night, I was so taken with Jack Dawson and his blue-eyed good looks that in a moment of passion I began kissing the TV screen so fervently, that it fell on top of me.
True story. 

Sitting at the theatre, I was overcome with the same tidal wave of adolescent Leo Love - it was physically reverberating. 
In a performance that I think is the strongest of his career, Leo walks away with the film. His fluidity of emotions is so intense, his desperation so honest, not to mention that boy can fucking ROCK a pink suit. 
And a soaking wet suit.
And a tux.
And a 20s swimsuit.

DiCaprio inherently embodies Gatsby. His charm, his hopefulness, his dedication, his smile - that smile that "concentrated on you with an irresistible prejudice in your favor. It understood you just as far as you wanted to be understood, believed in you as you would like to believe in yourself." He nails it. 
Even as a hardcore devotee to the book, I think his performance is perfection.  

I mean, Come on. 

It gives me funny feelings.

Which leads us to why Daisy is insane. 

Throughout history, Daisy Fay Buchanan has been not only what in part drives the story, but Gatsby's illusive flaw, both for the character and the story, and this interpretation is no different. 

First off, how does anyone NOT fall in love with Gatsby?
(Especially when it's Leo. Am I right, Ladies?)

She's indecisive, manipulative, and driven by money. Always on display, she acts the part of the lost, misunderstood debutante, clutching every man in her path with no remote thought of consequence. It's clear that she loves Gatsby, but it's not clear if it's only because of how she sees herself through his eyes.
When Nick finally describes her as careless, it's both an understatement and perfect description at the same time. 

As for this most recent version, I feel one of the main reasons she's so flawed is because of just how amazing Leo is. How are you supposed to stand up to that?
I really don't feel Carey Mulligan was the apt choice for the part, but I do feel she holds up better on the second viewing.

Daisy is a tease, and a cruel one at that. Whether she knows it or not, she is filling up time, and our dear, lovely, hopeful Gatsby is the unfortunate consequence. 

Fitzgerald himself blamed the initial lucrative and critical failure of the book on the fact that there were no likable female characters. 

Despite Daisy's defective behavior, the story is still amazing.
And I think Luhrmann's version is, all in all, a success.
A flawed success - just like Gatsby.
It effectively conveys the grandeur of the parties, the madness of the times, the passion of Gatsby, the conflict of Nick, the listlessness of the upper class and the infatuation of the entire story.
You're invested in not only the characters and the story, but the language of the narrative. 
As opposed to simply being a movie based on a book, it's a true adaptation in that you feel that the book is being played out in front of you. 

But seriously Daisy - WTF?

Top 10 TV Couples

I love television. I love Love. So it only makes sense that I love TV love. 
Here are my top 10 favorite television couples. 

(For those of you who I can already feel questioning some of my choices, please keep in mind what a child of the 90's I am.)
(You know what, I take that back. I don't need to defend my awesome picks to you.)

1. Lucy and Ricky (I Love Lucy)

Although their off-screen romance turned out to be volatile and unsuccessful in the end, this article couldn't even exist without Lucy and Desi. The original TV king and queen, I still laugh at this show today. 

2. Jim and Pam (The Office)

Every girl, everywhere, wants a man to look at her the way Jim Halpert looks at Pam Beesly.  Every single one. View after view, these two make me misty-eyed all the time (Even during the lesser, Michael-less, years.) The perfect combination of real-world and sweeping romance, they make epic television soul mates.
*Runners Up: Holly and Michael

3. Ross and Rachel (Friends)

I recently re-watched the episode in Season Two when they kiss for the first time, and even though I've seen it a cagillion times, when that U2 music starts playing, I still get butterflies of excitement. They put us all through 10 years of the will-they-won't-they ringer, and when she got off the plane, we were all relieved. 
*Runners up: Chandler and Monica

4. Carrie and Big (Sex and the City)

We'll forgive them the movies, these two were good effing television. He was destructive, she was obsessive, they were each other's kryptonite - and we benefitted. Six tumultuous seasons of sexy banter, on and off again, affairs and heart breaks - And did we love them? 
Absa-fuckin-lutely. 

5. Luke and Lorelai (Gilmore Girls)

Still livid about the abrupt ending to this series (Eff you, April Nardini), I spent my high school years racing home on Tuesday nights to see if these two would get together. And then they did. And it was wonderful. And then the WB fucked it up in contract negations.... Yes, I'm still bitter. But I will forever love the best couple in Stars Hollow.  

6. Matthew and Mary (Downton Abbey)

I'm gonna try not to spoil anything (devastating) from the recent season in case you have yet to see it (which you need to), but Matthew and Lady Mary are the perfect patrician romance. Through wars, loss, scandal, and more, these two were destined to be together. 

7. Don Draper and ... Women (Mad Men)

Don might be a nightmare-scary-chauvenist to date in real life, but his effed up love(?) affairs make for incredible television. He's destructive, manipulative, controlling- and incredibly sexy. His demeritorious accords keep us guessing and perpetuate our love/hate/fantasy relationship with him. 

8. Marshall and Lily (How I Met Your Mother)

Oh, Lily Pad and Marshmallow. Aside from being hilarious, these two are so fun to watch because you feel like they are truly best friends. Unabashed and adorable, the HIMYM pair is one of the most lovable duos in sit-com land.

9. Ben and Leslie (Parks and Recreation)

How do you not fall in love with Leslie Knope? And we love Ben, too. (Even if he does like calzones.)

10. Liz and Jack (30 Rock)

Although they were never romantic, they're one of the best all time duos from the tube. Remember when Liz took her shirt off to protect Jack's speech embarrassment? Or took a beating from Isabella Rosselini? Or when "Larry Braverman" defended Liz at the reunion? Swoon. The Almost kiss(es)? The pep talks, the banter, the pure, unadulterated awesomeness. Jack and Liz are a couple for the ages. 

Who are your favorite TV Couples?!