Not for another couple years for me, but it's still lingering out there.
I've made the decision to embrace it, and am choosing to use the milestone as a source of inspiration.
And while I'm excited to learn and grow, I realized that there's quite a few things we should know before hitting the big 3-0.
So I compiled a little list.
(Let me tell you right now I've only got about half [maybe] of these down.)
First off, buttons are incredibly easy to sew - trust me. Secondly, they will ALWAYS fall off at inconvenient times, and you might not always have mom/girlfriend/butler around in the moment to help you. Do yourself a favor and learn how to sew your own buttons.
2. How to Open a Bottle of Champagne
Under my mother's roof, this is a skill learned before it was legal for me to even drink it. PLUS, you can impress all your friends when you are the gal or guy who always shows up with a bottle of bubbles and opens it cooly (and safely - ALWAYS point away from people!) Watch a tutorial HERE.
3. How to Cook 2 great dishes for every meal.
French Toast, BLT's and Spaghetti and Meatballs are
Impressive, I know.
4. How to Say No
I don't know about you guys, but I have a real tendency to immediately accept every task/event/favor I'm asked about, and then find myself over-booked and lamenting it.
I also have a compulsion to please people around me and get scared to say no, or put my foot down. I try to avoid confrontation at all times.
But sometimes you need to be ok buckling down and knowing when and how to turn people down.
5. Teach Yourself A Skill Using Youtube
In 2014, we can teach ourselves how to do basically anything. If you can dream it, you can YouTube it.
6. How to Properly hold a Baby
If you're getting close to 30, it's happening: Your friends are starting to have babies.
I know, it sounds crazy to me too, but it's for real and that train is NOT stopping for a while. Know how to take a little one off your friends' hands for a while so they can enjoy a conversation (or cocktail) for 5 sacred minutes. Trust me, they'll love you forever.
Plus - holding babies is good for the soul.
7. How to make your favorite Cocktail(s)
Impress your guests, and treat yourself when you want to be fancy (and drunk.)
Bonus points for knowing how to pick decent wine.
8. When to bite your tongue
As important as it is to know when and how to say the right thing, it's often even more important to know when to shut the fuck up.
I struggle with this on a
9. How to Tie a Tie (Men) or Apply Liquid Liner (Women)
Guys and gals - be classy and prepared by knowing how to do these staples.
Bonus points for girls who can do both. And walk in heels.
10. How to Parallel Park
While we all have our Austin Powers moments in sticky parking situations, parallel parking is an invaluable skill to have, especially in bigger cities.
11. The Ability to Run a Mile
Even if it's just in case of emergency. (Jabberjays, Fire Wall, Chasing after George Clooney... or pizza...)
12. How to Prepare for a Job Interview
1. Be confident and properly dressed.
2. Present a properly formatted resume.
3. Un-Tag all Facebook pictures from Spring Break 2009.
4. DO NOT ask a question about the kid in the picture on the interviewer's desk. (Hint - their son is actually a daughter.)
13. Have a Go-To Karaoke Song
I almost never do Karaoke, and when I do it's after an ungodly amount of tequila shots, so I may not be the best person to address this.
BUT - when I DO take the mic, I know that I will be singing either Tom Jones, Neil Diamond or Britney Spears.
Find your song so that when the Cuervo is fogging up your head you don't have to waste valuable brain power on picking a song in that giant book.
14. How to Give A Good Toast
Your late 20's is the dawn of the weddings, people. Trust me, I have 6 this year alone. It's the time in your life to be prepared to give toasts and speeches.
(Also incredibly important to know how to: Recycle a Bridesmaids Dress, Do the Cupid Shuffle, Find Cool Cheap Gifts on Etsy, Find a Way to get Airline Miles, Talk to Elder Relatives, and Make Friends with the Bartender & Person in charge of Cake)
15. How to Change a Tire
Take it to Pep Boys
16. How to Do Your Taxes
Take them to H&R Block
17. How to Jump Start a Car
Or at least always have jumper cables in your trunk and know how to ask for help.
18. How to Fight Right
Relationships of every kind have ups and downs, and it's important to know how to fight with your significant other/Friend/Parents/Landlord/Barista while remaining constructive and not hurtful.
(To Max at Starbucks, if you're reading this, I'm sorry.)
19. How to tip 20%
I've said it before and I'll say it again - if you can't afford to tip 20%, you can't afford to go out.
Be kind to your server/bartender/hairstylist/sherpa while also improving your karma, and tip the appropriate amount.
20. How to Treat a Hangover
1) One Part Gatorade, Two Parts Water.
2) 3 IB Profen.
3) Repeat Step 1.
4) French Fries.
5) Pint of Beer.
6) Repeat Step 5.
7) Repeat Step 6.
8) Repeat Step 7.
9) Do all over again the next day.
21. How to Have your Fridge Properly Stocked
Milk and Eggs are great and all, but it's important to know how to have a fridge stocked correctly.
That way there's always something in case of emergency (frozen pizza), company (a bottle of bubbles), cravings (sharp cheddar), mornings (half & half), hydration (Brita pitcher), and necessity (beer).
22. Make a Craigslist Deal
Meet in a public place, know the appropriate price of what you're buying/selling, know how to haggle, use a bunch of keywords in your post, Avoid creepers.
23. How Do something out of your comfort zone
Whether it's bunjee jumping or wearing shorts, we all need to be forever challenging ourselves.
24. Feel Comfortable Asking for What you Want & Deserve (In all areas)
From the board room to the bed room, if you don't ask, the answer is no.
25. When and How to Write a Thank You Note
The art of the Thank You note is rapidly fading away in our society, and it's an invaluable skill to have and implement.
26. How to Take Care of your Skin
2. Wash Face
3. Moisturize some more
27. How to Make Lemonade
Metaphorical lemonade, that is.
By 30 we should be able to find the silver linings, see the glass half full, and, in general, suck it up and make the best of things.
28. Start a Roth IRA
29. Know what a Roth IRA is
30. And When All Else Fails - Just Ask WWOD
What Would Oprah Do?
PS - I'd like to personally thank WikiHow for helping get me through this post and a lot of life in general.