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Friday, January 3, 2014


It's New Years Resolution Time, Y'all!
(Bet you didn't even know that was Marilyn Monroe, did you?)

New Years Resolution Number One: Think of Resolutions before January 3rd.

Actually - Much like Last Year, I spent a lot of time writing an entire other post that had a ton of serious and pensive and admirable resolutions to share with you all. 
But it was boring.
And unrealistic.

So here are the resolutions I actually intend to attempt in 2014:

* Eat Less Frozen Pizza 
I hate cooking and have weird work hours and am lazy. So I am not REMOTELY EXAGGERATING when I tell you I eat 1-3 Frozen Pizzas a week. 
And they're delicious and chemically preserved and amazing. 
And the worst thing ever for you.
I eat them in bliss and then MELT DOWN when for some unknown reason my pants are too tight. 
Time to cut way back. 

* Drink Fewer Margaritas
I am not REMOTELY EXAGGERATING when I tell you I drink 3-10 Margaritas a week. 
And they're delicious and salty and sweet and alcoholic and amazing. 
And the worst thing ever for you.
I drink them in tequila-drenched bliss and then MELT DOWN when for some unknown reason my pants are too tight. 
Time to cut way back. 

* Feel Sorry For Myself Less Often
My entire life is made up of a series of Uptown problems, and I need to get better about cutting the crap and being grateful. I also need to pull a Cher Horowitz and do something good for the planet. And be less judgmental when people do stupid things

* Listen to Full Albums
Since I started making my playlists for the last 2 years, I've realized I haven't been listening to full albums as much as I used to, which in turn means falling in love with fewer bands than I used to, and it bums me out. 
So when I find a band I like, my new goal is to actually BUY their ALBUM (support musicians!), and listen to it a bunch. Bam. 

* Keep a Living Thing Alive
Considering that I've killed 3 different cacti in the last two years, my track record is not stellar. But 2014 is the year that all changes. 2014 is the year I keep something alive. 
Like a Kitten! 
Or maybe a fish.
...Or a succulent.  

* Take More Videos
They're fun and nostalgic and I should do it more. 
I also plan to make more videos here. 

* Learn How to Cook 5 Things
While I'm busy giving up frozen pizzas, there will be a major vacancy in the options of what to eat. So I am going to learn 5 new recipes that are healthy and interesting and cannot be purchased at Walgreens. Take that, adulthood. 

* See More Movies
I REALLY dropped the ball this year on going to the movies, and I intend to make up for it in 2014. AND I vow to see more movies that are not Romantic Comedies (or made by Sofia Coppola)

* Move to Los Angeles
I've been planning on moving to the city of Angels (and traffic) for two years now, and for various (legit) reasons, I keep pushing it back. 
But this is the year I finally take the plunge. 
Seriously. It's happening. 
Excitement and beaches and poverty, here I come! 

* Give my Facebook account the Cold Shoulder
I check my FB way too much and it's disgusting. There are WAY more interesting things to do on the internet (and OFF!!) than seeing what vague acquaintances ate for dinner. 
I also think this will help me solve other issues I have like too much comparing myself to other people, and a daily struggle with FOMO
I've taken major steps by removing it from my bookmarks bar and favorites and deleting the app off my phone. 
Good progress, self. 

*Call My Grandma More
This is a perfect example of something to do that's way more important than Facebooking. 

*Push Through Writer's Block
Even when it's bad, even when there's nothing there, even when it's awful, just keep writing.

* Use My Clarisonic
I have a tendency to take pretty bad care of my skin. I hate washing it, I fall asleep with makeup on, I forget to moisturize, and I tamper with blemishes. TMI? My bad.
For Christmas I got a Clarisonic, and it's my belief that using it will change my skin, and thus my entire life.

*Try a Cronut
What's that? Did that today?!
I am KILLING IT so far!

So these are my resolutions. 
I feel pretty good about them. Like - empowered by Tootsie good.
Look out world. 

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