End the Gossip | Tarreyn Land: End the Gossip

Friday, November 8, 2013

End the Gossip

I've spent way too much energy thinking about other people lately.
Not in the considerate, thinking of my loved ones kind of way, but in the judgmental gossipy way.

It's time for a change. 
As Cher Horowitz would say, I need a makeover, but this time for my soul. 

To cite another wise woman, Eleanor Roosevelt: "Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people."
And it couldn't be more true. 
Every time I've left a conversation in which I've devoted a chunk of time discussing other people, I've felt so small. - Something I never want to feel. (Unless it's about my jean size, in which case, bring it on.)

I want to be a great mind, I want to discuss ideas and projects and the COUNTLESS interesting and important things happening in the world! 
How can I justify spending a coffee date discussing the relationship of two people I barely know instead of what's happening in the political world right now?! Or on Breaking Bad?!
Get it together, self! 
We as women need to start making a change.
I want us to understand people and not judge, or even care what they do. 
At what point does it stop being genuine concern or interest, and start being gossipy and catty? 
I want to respect people's ability to control their own lives and not question or disrespect it because it's different from my own. 
(I'm aware I have some control issues. I'm working on it.)

So many factors and variables go into people's lives and choices, and what should I care if people make decisions that are different from what I would do? Isn't that what makes us all special and unique? 
If people didn't think differently from me, we would never have created sports or tacos or high heels! 
And who wants to live in that alternate universe? 

After a particularly critical discussion with a friend lately, I felt actually sick. I didn't like who I was. And I don't want to ever feel like that. 

I took a handful of women's studies classes in college (insert Birkenstock joke here) and I learned repeatedly that gossip is a way that women all around the world communicate with each other. From penthouses in Manhattan to mud huts in Africa, gossip is a consistent developmental form of communication for humans, particularly women. And it's not always necessarily a bad thing, it can be helpful for the development of friendships and society.

However, there comes a point where it ceases to be productive and becomes detrimental. 

From Miley Cyrus to the weird lady at my gym, word vomit has been my specialty lately, and it ends here and now.  

There are too many amazing things on this planet to devote our energy to without letting the insignificancies of other people in daily life suck away our chi. 

To quote Cady Heron in Mean Girls, "Calling someone fat won't make you any skinner. Calling someone stupid doesn't make you any smarter. Ruining someone's life won't make yours any better. The only thing that you can do in life is solve the problem that's in front of you." 

...I've also been watching a lot of chick flicks lately. 

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