What I Learned from Losing Part of My Thumb | Tarreyn Land: What I Learned from Losing Part of My Thumb

Friday, April 10, 2015

What I Learned from Losing Part of My Thumb

OK. - Not part of my thumb. Just some flesh. 
(But it got you to click, didn't it?)
I was however, engaged in an incident involving scissors, 2 well-intending small children, and a trip to Urgent Care. (where I cried like a baby while the beautiful, stylish Asian doctor who's probably my same age and has her whole life totally together and frizz-free, burned the shit out of cauterized the wound.)
The thumb is fine. It's in recovery.
(And by that I mean I made a splint out of gauze & bandaids and drank away the pain.)

The point of this post is not that I am accident prone, or that I have a low pain tolerance, or that sometimes weird shit happens (although it definitely does). 

The point of this is that I learned a lot from having half of my thumbprint cut off. 

I learned that I need to slow the fuck down. 
That I need to stop stressing about "perfecting" my life and enjoy the messiness that is the present. 
It's ok to have boxes that are still unpacked. 
It's ok to get in fights and express emotions.
It's o-fucking-k to not have written the next great American screenplay yet. 

Time is relative. Don't compete with anyone but yourself. Comparison is the thief of joy. 

All that kind of shiz.

I've been listening to a lot of Oprah Deepak Chopra lately, and it's been really helping me take a step back and accept calmness. To accept myself more and be open to the universe. (Insert crystal healing hippy joke here)

I've had an epiphany recently that I think appropriately applies to my current situation:

Hard does not equal bad. 

The same way leading an easy life doesn't necessarily make it a happy one, going through things that are hard doesn't mean that it's negative. 

My life has gotten significantly harder in the last 6 months. 
I make less money and have bigger bills. I don't know where I'm going half the time - both figuratively (I don't know what I'm doing) and literally (I don't know where shit is.) 
I've become a succulent mother. 
I get overwhelmed a lot. 
But that's not bad. It's just hard. 
And it's hard to do things that are scary, but that's what growth is. And that's good. 

I read a quote the other day that said "someone else would kill to have your worst day." 
And that's super true. There IS someone out there who would hear about my day of bank notifications, relationship stress and thumb blood and think "Must be nice." 
(I picture this person to be a strong, stoic mother of 3 in an impoverished country, but in reality it could be someone who passed by me at the grocery store while I was crying silently about the cost of tampons.) 

If you're willing to do things that are hard, it means you're passionate and determined to get somewhere. It means you're focused. It means you're pursuing your effing dreams. And that's not bad at all. 

Sometimes you have hard days that are actually shitty. And those are just the days that you buy a box of canned pink wine and watch 10 Things I Hate About You. Twice. 
And then you take a deep breath and know that everything can't get done today. Or tomorrow. And you cut yourself a break. (get it? Cut?

(Portrait of me by one of my unintentional attackers. Wine by Pampelonne. Drunk by me)

Also - you don't realize how much you use a thumb until it's incapacitated. You can all now take a moment to be impressed at my mad typing skills.  


  1. Chin up! Like you mentioned, it can always be worse (and sometimes IS in other people's lives).

    Have a good upcoming week!

  2. I will be sending you lots of love and healing. Glad the asian doctor lady was able to stitch you back up. Scissor wounds can be really sore I know, especially when they require cleaning with alcohol. Burns bad! I am cringing just thinking about it. Funny that you drank away the pain, I am sure that made you smile!

    Quentin Madison @ U.S. HealthWorks Chino