Dear Couple from the Movies the Other Night -
We haven't officially met.
Hi, I'm Tarreyn.
You may know me as the girl at the movie theater the other night who was to your left drinking champagne from a can and glaring at you.
Nice to meet you.
Still not sure who I am?
I'm not surprised, you two seemed to be pretty involved in each other. (I'm assuming it was your second, maybe third date? Congrats! Hope it all works out well for you two!)
It was during the 7:20 Wolf of Wall Street a week and a half ago.
I was the one with bangs who was really engrossed in and enjoying the movie, and you guys were the ones who came in 30 minutes late and then sat one seat away from me.
Still no idea? It's cool, I figured.
Even though you don't know who I am, I just wanted to clear the air.
I was willing to be totally forgiving you when you came in late.
Things come up, shit happens, you run late to the movies.
I get it.
I myself was late to see Saving Mr. Banks yesterday.
I mean, not as late as you guys. If I were going to be 20 minutes late to a movie I would skip it and go when I could actually catch the whole thing, but, whatever.
Me being late meant I came in half-way through the Muppets preview which I was woefully sorry to miss.
And, if it makes you feel better, I wish had been 2 full hours late to my movie because Saving Mr. Banks was a 2 hour snooze-fest about a 60 year old woman with Daddy Issues and a waste of Tom Hanks' time while he could have been making a sequel to Big.
But.
I digress.
I was willing to forgive your tardiness.
I was even willing to look past that in a theater FILLED with seats you chose to sit one away from ME.
Fine, that's totally cool.
I get that not everyone has spacial issues the same way I do.
BUT THEN.
Just as I was about to forgive you - you guys talked through the WHOLE movie.
Guys.
THAT'S WHAT RESTAURANTS ARE FOR.
PLEASE - Next time - continue your courtship OUTSIDE of a movie theatre where there is meant to be no talking.
No one else in the theater cares how your day was, or what movie you liked more than this one, or that you don't "get" the Leonardo DiCaprio thing. (Which, by the by, is a whole different subject for a different time because he's amazing and I love him)
Maybe if you hadn't gotten there late, you would have seen the FIVE different advertisements telling you no talking or texting and maybe you would have been more quiet.
Who's to say.
I'm skeptical.
I only tell you all of this for your own good, and to enhance your movie-going experience and that of those around you in the future, since clearly my glares, coughing and shushing weren't enough.
Help me Help You.
And since you felt the need to leave before the MOVIE ENDED, let me just tell you that it was totally worth staying for the whole thing.
But you probably know that.
You probably really felt like heels when Leo won that Golden Globe the other night.
So I guess we'll call it even.
But please, just give this some thought in the future and I'll love you forever. (But hopefully never encounter you again.)
Hilarious.
ReplyDeleteYour post, not the two d-bags who sat next to you. Movie theater etiquette definitely ain't what it used to be. I was pleasantly surprised at the opening night of Lone Survivor that no cell phones lit up, and with the exception of a few scattered talkers it was just as a movie viewing should be.