Worst. Pirate. Ever.

Ahoy from the Caribbean, Mateys!
I've been having an absolute blast on my trip, enjoying everything from snorkeling with turtles to riding ATVs through the rain forest! Absolutely Incredible!
However - something has come to my attention this week that I didn't think I'd ever fully and honestly realize: I would be THE WORST PIRATE EVER.
Among the many reasons that have lead to my realization, here are the big ones:

1. Rum is not my drink

As much as I adore drinking from coconuts and singing about pina coladas, Rum and I do not mix. I get ready to brawl, and then I get ill. The brawling part might be good in piracy, (until I was murdered by cutlass...) but not the later effects. I actually spent the rest of the trip hiding beer in the coconut you see above...

2. I am afraid of heights. Like woah.

We were on the beautiful island of St. Thomas when we visited the historical site of Blackbeard's Castle (Above - Cool, right?!). The term "castle" was used pretty loosely seeing as it is one single tower built in the mid-1600s, but neat all the same. I started climbing up the thin spiral staircase to get to the top when i melted down. I started loosing my shiz because I was so scared of the height (which in reality was not very high at all...)
Pirates had to deal with heaights all the time! Manning the crow's nest, hoisting the sales, scaling the walls, hiding in forts! I would have been left behind or made to walk the plank immediately.

3. I am horribly prone to sea sickness

This one's pretty obvious. Pirates live on ships. Ships, as I learned, make me horribly sea sick. Bad news.