If I Had Magic Powers...

• Wine would have no calories
• I could make people stop humming in public
• Cereal would stay crunchy the whole bowl
• Every single episode of every TV show I love would be streaming on Netflix
• My car would always have a full tank
• I could play any instrument I wanted
• The carpets in my apartment would be spotless
• Jon Hamm would be my neighbor
• I would get the tan of a bronze goddess
• I'd have the Fonzy effect on Photobooths and Jukeboxes 
• Pants would properly fit me
• Stuart Little would be real
• I would understand numbers
• Flowers would stay fresh for weeks
• Bread and Cheese would have no calories
• I wouldn't be clumsy
• Lightbulbs and batteries would never die
• I'd have an unlimited iTunes account
• I'd have unlimited airplane miles
• I would be friends with Billy Zane
• My nails would always be perfectly polished
• Dishes and laundry would do themselves
• I would be photogenic in every picture
• Chocolate would have no calories
• I could learn a new language in a day
• I could properly (and symmetrically) cut my own bangs
• I'd have a magic dog
• I would be a marathon runner
• My veins would be easy to find when I donate blood
• Tom Jones and Neil Diamond would sing at my parties
• I could time travel
• I would have Red Bull on tap
• I would be immune to sickness and speeding tickets
• I could surf and skateboard
• I would have won Elizabeth Taylor's 70s jumpsuit at auction
• I would wear Elizabeth Taylor's jumpsuit every day
• I could fly.