A Letter to my Middle School Self

Hey T - 
First off, if you're reading this, time travel has been invented and that's freaking awesome.
Secondly: It's all going to be ok. - All this misery does lead to a happy end. I promise. 
I've been thinking about you lately and how middle school blows. But also how all that suckiness can lead to good.
I thought I'd write to you some suggestions, observations and pieces of advice from you at 24 that I think might be helpful in not only giving you hope and help, but suggesting that you re-evaluate some of your expectations...

Just so you know - Not only do you make friends, BUT you're even gonna have a boyfriend or two! I know, right?! (The good one comes in to the picture around 20 so keep your eyes peeled)

Despite your spin-the-bottle efforts, you don't actually get kissed until you're 15... and it's in a school play... so don't hold your breath on that for now...

Start listening to cooler music now. It becomes a really big part of your life later. I know that right now listening to Rent on incessant repeat makes you feel accepted, but move on. There are tons of angsty 20 year olds making great music that will give you the same sense of understanding. 

I know you think your face looks weird without glasses, but trust me, getting contact lenses will literally make you see the world differently. 

Oh, and maybe skip that whole skirts-over-pajama-pants look...

You are way cooler (and way less chubby) than you think you are. 

Be confident in who you are. Like yourself, and other people will too.

Ignore all those "cool" girls who won't sit with you at lunch. Being mean is never Cool. And they all probably have kids and deadbeat baby-daddys by now so I wouldn't worry about that too much... 

People are gonna give you a lot of shit for being in love with Robert Downey Jr. - Don't listen to them. Not only does he get out of prison but he becomes the mega movie star you always knew he should be. You have good taste. 

When the whole internet thing happens, it's gonna blow your mind. 

I won't tell you to stop faking sick and going to the nurse so you can get picked up to go home. If I were in your position all over again I'd probably do the exact same thing.
Adolescents are assholes. It's not you. It's hormones. Ignore them. 

Wear your retainers.

When you get to High School, pay more attention in French - knowing a second language is rad. And take it easy on Madame Lown, she's got a really tough job.

That's about all I've got for you right now, younger me. 

Oh, except Maybe Reconsider this picture:

You're gonna be just fine. Self-doubt never goes away completely, but work on your confidence and things get easier. 

Sincerely,
Older You

PS - I'm so sorry to tell you this: In 7th grade you're gonna get lice and it's going to be the most disgusting thing you ever experience. Sorry.