My Thought Process During a Run

00:11  Okay, you can do this
00:34  Just a little Jaunt. A warm-up to get the blood going.
01:27  You've got this. The day is yours! 
02:11  It's like that Nike ad in What Women Want, it's just you and the road!
02:31  God, why did Mel Gibson have to turn out to be such a dick? 
03:40  Look at all of these cute go-getter new moms running with their strollers, they're doing so great! Be more like them!
04:55  Get the FUCK OUT OF THE WAY with those strollers ladies, this is a shared path! GEEZ!
06:19  Ok, Just run to the trashcan, and then you can slow down.
07:02  Made it to the trashcan! Good job, now just keep running until the end of this song.
08:14  Will this Remix NEVER END??!
09:26  Look at that puppy! I love puppies!!
09: 29 I want a puppy to run with! 
09:34 I should have just bought that beagle on craigslist the other day. I love beagles.
09:45 Bagels. Mmmmmm
10:10 Just keep running until you're far away enough from this scary homeless man
11:23 You're right Katy Perry, I AM a FIREWORK!
13:29 JUST TO THE DRINKING FOUNTAIN!
14:57 Oh, sweet water, you are the nectar of Zeus.
15:55 Ok, back to running
17: 38 Just think of it like this - one mile means one more glass of wine tonight
17:49 Wiiiiiiiiiinnnnneeeeeeeeeeeeee

19:13 Ok, time to kick it up a notch

21:06 FASTER!

22:41 CALVES ON FIRE! GLUTES BURNING! AAAHHHH!!! CAN'T BREATH!

23:52 BEING SKINNY ISN'T WORTH IT!

25:08 Woah. That girl is so fit

25:16 Like, really fit. 

25:24 I bet she didn't have three cheesy biscuits last night...

25:52 Look at her legs! She's like a beautiful gazelle.

26:11 Okay, stop staring at her, you creep!

28:23 Man, I am really working up a sweat today, I must be working really hard! 

28:40 Wait... Did I forget to put on deodorant?

28:59 Yup, definitely forgot. 

29:38 I WILL shine bright like a diamond, Rihanna! 

30:47 You are almost there, just keep going

31:09 SO CLOSE

32:12 MY LEGS ARE TURNING INTO JELLO!

33:25 Beyoncé wouldn't stop running!!!

33:59 I'm never going to make it. AGGHHI'.D]EKJF/0.YHA8GHH8DNSJIFHECD9UNVS

34:08 Al.Most.There.

34:37 I DID IT!!! I AM A GOLDEN GOD!!!!!

35:13 That wasn't so bad! I can do anything!!