Dear Teenagers:

Dear Teenagers ~
To begin, just let me tell you that I understand. I get it. Being your age blows. 
Aside from all that weird stuff happening to your bodies (my skin is rebelling!), and the wretchedness that is navigating the social scene (DO NOT worry if you don't get asked to the dance. Trust me.), there is soo much going on in your heads. Things are confusing and every day is a new wave of insanity.

However, despite the daily visits to crazy town and being forced to deal with adults who just don't get it, we need to have a serious discussion, you and I. 
A couple of things must be addressed.

First Off - You can stop acting like nothing is cool, or that it's lame to get excited about something. It's not. It's actually awesome to be an enthusiastic person and there aren't enough of us, so snap out of it. Thinking that nothing is cool doesn't make you cool.

Secondly - Please, I pray you, start dressing a little more appropriately. I know that you're young and leggy and you have metabolisms faster than the Millennium Falcon, but leave something to the imagination. Being ladylike is, in fact, cool. And the guys who don't think so aren't worth your time. 
And to you boys out there - More Deodorant, Less Axe Body spray. I know the ads literally tell you that if you spray it all over your body women will have sex with you, but they should be sued for false advertising because it is the exact opposite. 

And Third - Put. The Cell Phones. Down. 
I know they're amazing. They're effing incredible! I have a technology addiction myself! But when you are speaking to a REAL PERSON who's RIGHT in FRONT of YOU, it's sooo rude! It's also rude at restaurants, the movie theatre, the real theatre (can't even believe I need to point that one out), and in most social settings.
Instagram doesn't get updated that much that you can't even sit at the dinner table for an hour without checking it. Trust me. 
These are very formative years for your social skills, and when you're in your mid-twenties and are ignoring people around you so you can be on your phone, it's gonna be even more annoying.

You guys, I'm telling you this for your own good. It will help you throughout your lives, I swear! Just be yourselves, adhere to proper hygiene and modesty, and make sure your screens don't take over your lives. I'm fully aware that I sound like a crotchety prude, and maybe I am, but I just needed to put this out there for you. 

I wish you the best of luck forging onward in the peaks and valleys that are adolescence. 

Oh, and don't be too upset about Gossip Girl being over. Sex and the City ended when I was 18 and I made it through ok.