Devastation and Love | Tarreyn Land: Devastation and Love

Friday, December 14, 2012

Devastation and Love

December 14th, 2012.

There's nothing I can say that hasn't been said, and nothing I'm feeling that isn't resonating with the entire country.
This is a horrible, painful day, forcing us to confront horrible and painful realities.

The whole world is heavier. From the flags at half mast to parents hugging their children tighter, everything is weighed down.

Like the rest of the nation, I am horribly lost.

I am taken back to my memories of Columbine, which are as vivid today as ever. I was in 6th grade, terrified to my core, and that deep sense of phobia has never quite gone away. 

Around this time last year, I was at a dinner party and began discussing my long-standing fear of being shot in a movie theatre or a mall or coffee shop. At the time, everyone told me I was overly paranoid. I wish they had been right. I've been sick to my stomach to have these fears warranted time and time again in a year filled with terrifying mania. 

Where is the dialogue even supposed to begin? The issues are so messy and intertwined, and the pain is so deeply piercing.

While there are endless issues that must be discussed, and voices that need to be heard, I was out tonight when silence was what spoke volumes. 
I was at a bar, and when the NBA game came on and they asked for a moment of silence before playing, a jam-packed bar hushed to a chilling mute. No one made eye contact, no one flinched. Even after the game resumed, no one spoke or moved until the bartender turned some music on, which slowly thawed the air.

I will not make this into something political. It's not the time, it's too complicated, and many much more articulate people than myself have entered the dialogue. 
(If you're interested in hearing some of these voices, see a few here, here, and here.)

I am here to focus on love. On gratitude for the fact that with the hateful actions of one sick individual, there were many acts of love and heroism. 
It's time to remember love must help us move past the petty and small of the everyday and focus on what's important.
Love must be shared and spread and expressed every second of every day.
Love must motivate change and progression. 

Love must win. 

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