This is after a dream I had a couple nights ago where Stephen Colbert and Tom Hanks took me out for a night on the town in Manhattan.
Every time I wake up from one of these dreams I'm horribly disappointed that they're not real.
Twitter is to blame.
...and by friends I mean celebrities...
Twitter makes people you don't even know seem so immediately accessible. You feel that you're only one small step away from people who are 100% oblivious to your existence.
I keep thinking things like "at any moment Judd Apatow will see that I'm following him, click to my site and call me up to be a part of his new secret Freaks and Geeks movie!" or "Maybe Ellen DeGenerous will read one of my tweets and think I'm hilarious and that we should be best friends!"
... I'm not sure it's healthy... But I love it.
I mostly follow writers and comedians and Hollywood girls I wish I was friends with. Or assistants for.
I also like to follow bloggers, actors & actresses and industrious teenage girls who are ten years younger and 10 times more successful than I am...
And then I follow a handful of people who I actually know... and Obama.
No, seriously, I do know a couple people... right?
The thing is, all of this following has implanted a certain level of intimacy in my subconscious that is causing me to dream about relationships with these people that I don't actually have. Twitter is messing with me!
All of these little 140 character interactions are planting themselves deeply in my brain!
I look forward to seeing what new anecdotes and links and funny thoughts will be waiting for me when I log in. I eagerly anticipate the charming and relatable witticisms people will be putting out there for me to personally connect with and develop a fake relationship in my mind with the author!
I promise I'm not a creeper.
I just have an overactive imagination and a twitter account.
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