Fifty Shades of WHAT THE FRACK?! | Tarreyn Land: Fifty Shades of WHAT THE FRACK?!

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Fifty Shades of WHAT THE FRACK?!

           So, I've joined the sensation - I'm reading Fifty Shades of Grey... It's not going so well...
           Normally, I have zero problem ingesting brain candy. I read all 4 Twilights - no shame. (I also have seen all the movies, which I do have some slight shame about...)
           However, this book goes even beyond the cheese of tween vampires. In fact, the writing is so bad, it came as no surprise to me to learn that this author's career started out writing Twilight fanfiction... Seriously. Red Flag Number 1.
           The author, E.L. James, has even been quoted as saying she's not the best writer and that this book series was her response to a midlife crisis... Red Flags Number 2 & 3. 
           The story revolves around Anastasia Steele, your run of the mill pretty-but-doesn't-know-it-smart-but-clumsy-college-graduate heroine, who meets unfathomably-handsome-and-super-young-multi-billionaire Christian Grey. They have a connection, they go for coffee once.. then... HOLY FRACK! They start having sex EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! What the what?!?
           Pages upon Pages of sex ensue. I'm all for a little smutty fun in my smutty beach reads, but this develops into totally new terrain. Novel isn't even necessarily the correct term for it at this point. It's basically typed-up porn for half the book. The coital scenes are so graphic (not to mention fairly unrealistic at times...) that I was compelled to stop reading it in public...
           The author is clearly more focused on different types of bondage than vocabulary (Steele describes her best friend as "tenacious" on LITERALLY every other page... Ms. James, the thesaurus is an amazing tool...), and more concentrated on explicit erotica than decent character development. 
           I am all for guilty pleasures. I very openly love things like reality makeover shows, chicken and waffles and made-for-TV-biopics. But those bring me total joy, where as reading fifty shades of kinda boring, does not.
           I suppose the book serves it's purpose - it takes you out of your day for awhile, and I do admit that I am curious abut what's going to happen between the two [dimensional] lead characters next. And let's not lie, I'll be seeing the movie that inevitably will come out. It's fun for the beach or pool, and is like a king-size candy bar for your mind. But like a Hershey's, not a Godiva...

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